i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
