Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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