I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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