She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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