normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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