It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
