Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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