I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
