I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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