Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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