**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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