i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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