If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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