I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
