She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
