and you said cock pushups were impossible
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
