Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
