Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
