Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
