so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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