I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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