Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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