Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
