some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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