Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
