She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
