I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
