help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
