i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
