Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
