You're my little dorito
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
