i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
