Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
