I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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