It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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