Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
