Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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