Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
