youre lurking in front of me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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