check it out our google latitudes are spooning
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
