just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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