His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
