dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
