i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
