its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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