If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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