Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
