I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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