This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need water and some morals
Randomize
