HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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